For a long time, I thought living as my true self meant becoming something more.
More successful.
More accomplished.
More impressive.
For years, I chased that version of life with reckless abandon—and on the outside, it appeared to work. But on the inside, something was missing. I was doing all the “right” things modern American life tells us is success, being a big firm attorney and then clean energy entrepreneur, serving on volunteer boards and having the stuff we are sold in ads. Yet, I wasn’t feeling the impact I knew I was meant to make in life. I wasn’t inspiring others. That quiet dissatisfaction when I looked in the mirror wasn’t failure, although it felt like it at times. It was feedback. It was my true self trying to get my attention.
Living as your true self isn’t about adding more layers to who you are.
It’s about removing what doesn’t serve you.
You’re Not Broken — You’re Just Not Aligned With Your True Self
Most of us don’t drift away from our true selves because we make bad choices. We drift away from who we know we are meant to be because modern life is loud, fast, and distracting. We wake up already reacting—emails, messages, news, obligations—before we’ve had a single intentional thought of our own.
Over time, reaction becomes our default mode. We start living according to what’s urgent instead of what’s important. We get stuck on what feels like a hamster wheel—busy all day, productive on paper, but not really moving closer to the life we want.
Living as your true self begins the moment you stop long enough to ask an honest question:
Is how I am living actually aligned with who I am meant to be?
That question changes everything. So many people want to know what their purpose in life is, yet, we do not stop long enough to listen to our inner voice and our higher power directing us where to go.
Your True Self Already Knows the Way
Your true self isn’t hiding. It isn’t gone. It hasn’t disappeared.
It speaks through that still, small voice inside—the one that nudges you toward meaning and purpose and pulls you away from what drains you. The problem isn’t that the voice isn’t there. It’s that we don’t slow down long enough to hear it.
Learning to live as your true self starts with listening. “Silent” and “Listen” contain the same letters. Stop and listen to that still small voice within you. It knows where to go.
That listening often feels uncomfortable at first because it means confronting truth: truths about how we’re spending our time, what we’re allowing into our lives, and where we’re settling. But clarity, even when it stings a little, is a gift. It gives you direction. Clarity brings confidence, and confidence is contagious.
When you find silence and stillness and you listen, you begin to realize that much of what you’ve been chasing isn’t wrong—it’s just incomplete. It’s not you. Success without alignment with your true self feels empty. Achievement without purpose feels hollow.
Seeing Yourself with Love Changes Everything
One of the simplest and most powerful practices I ever started was learning to truly see myself with love.
Years ago, after reading The Power of Intention, I stood in front of the mirror, locked eyes with myself and said, “I love you.” It felt awkward at first. Uncomfortable. Almost silly. But I stuck with it. Something shifted almost immediately.
When you see love in the mirror—really see it—you stop fighting yourself. You stop starting the day with judgment. You stop carrying that quiet edge of self-criticism into every interaction.
Living as your true self means realizing that love isn’t something you earn after you’ve done enough or proven enough. It’s something you start from. True love for yourself and gratitude for every day are the foundation for living as your true self. Love, Happiness and Success are not a destination you are striving to get to someday, when you accomplish more. They are here now. Your true self is here now waiting for you to see that the light in the mirror is you.
And when you start from love, how you show up each day changes.
Vision Comes Before Momentum
One mistake I see people make all the time is trying to build habits and routines without first knowing where they’re going. We stay busy improving systems that aren’t aligned with our deeper vision with our true selves.
Living as your true self requires stepping back far enough to see your life clearly.
When I finally admitted to myself that being a big firm lawyer—and then an entrepreneur—wasn’t fully aligned with my true calling, it wasn’t because those careers were “wrong.” It was because they no longer matched who I was becoming. Writing, teaching, and inspiring others felt natural. Aligned. True. It was that version of myself that I had seen in my mind since I was a kid. It was my true self.
Big goals aren’t about striving harder or satisfying your ego. They act as your North Star, directing you where to go. They pull you forward with clarity instead of pushing you with stress.Big goals aligned with your true self feel natural, heartfelt and you awake inspired every day.
When you know where you’re headed, you begin each day excited to live life on purpose.
Identity Shapes Habit, Not the Other Way Around
We often try to change our behavior first and hope our identity follows. It rarely works that way.
Lasting change happens when you decide who you are, then build daily practices that reflect that identity. You see who you are meant to be with clear vision and then you build the habits so you become that person. Once you are clear on your long-term vision for yourself and set clear goals that align with that vision, you can set habits to be who you are meant to be. You can start living as your true self and doing what that person does each day.
Habits aren’t about perfection. They’re about alignment. They are small actions you take each day to embrace that beautiful person you’re becoming.
I didn’t start meditating, journaling, or restructuring my days because it was trendy or productive. I chose those habits because they aligned with the future version of myself I could see but hadn’t fully become yet. Peaceful, happy and living life connected and in bliss, inspiring others.
For over 5 years, I have tracked my habits. And those habits are set up to align with my true self and my big goals that align with my True Self. Some days I still miss a habit or two or three. With 5 kids and running 2 businesses, life happens. But since I track my habits, I can see that the days I feel most like my true self almost always align with days I honored what matters most to me.
Your Schedule Tells the Truth
If you really want to know whether you’re living as your true self, look at your calendar.
Your schedule reflects your priorities whether you like it or not.
When your days are filled with constant interruption, reactive work, and other people’s agendas, it’s nearly impossible to stay aligned with your true self. Living as your true self requires intentional time—time to focus, time to reflect, time for silence and stillness and time to move your life forward on purpose.
Even one protected block per day—60 to 90 minutes of deep focus on your BIG goals—can change the trajectory of your life when aimed at what truly matters.
Don’t just go through the motions at work.
Make your motions work.
Stillness Is Not a Luxury — It’s a Requirement
Meditation, prayer, or quiet reflection is not about escaping reality. It’s about seeing it clearly.
When life slows down, truth comes into focus. Meditation is listening to your higher power without asking for anything.
I used to sit in meditation waiting for big breakthroughs or “eureka” moments. And I have had my fair share of beautiful insight found only in communion with the Source of all that is. What I learned over time though is that the real power is consistency. Stillness creates space. Space creates clarity. Clarity creates trust in your true self.
In silence, you begin to recognize patterns. You start noticing what consistently drains your energy and what consistently restores it. You notice negative thought patterns that you can send on their way and replace with a glorious vision for your life. You hear guidance that was always there but drowned out by all the noise. Drowned out by all the phone scrolling, zoom meetings, social media, negative news and video shorts.
Those are not reality. Your true self is your reality.
Sometimes you have to close your eyes to see.
Write It Down or It Slips Away
Insight without action fades quickly.
Journaling is how vision becomes real. When you write, you turn a fleeting thought into something you can work with. Writing slows the mind enough to make meaning stick.
Some of the most important decisions in my life didn’t arrive as dramatic moments. They came quietly during journaling—clarifying a direction, naming a truth, or recognizing something I couldn’t unsee anymore.
Living as your true self isn’t about having all the answers at once. It’s about capturing what you’re learning and acting on it one step at a time.
Your Body Is Part of the Equation
You can’t separate your inner life from your physical life.
When you neglect sleep, movement, and nourishment, everything feels harder. Clarity drops. Stress rises. Listening to your inner voice becomes difficult. For true alignment, you must listen to your body, as well as your inner voice.
When I was a young lawyer, I wasn’t listening to my body and was pulling all nighters on the regular to get ahead. My body sent me a distress signal in the form of multiple sclerosis with lesions on my brain and spine. I was unable to lift my left foot or write with my right hand and then a couple of year later, gradually lost sight in each of eye.
Our body is miraculous though and heals itself when you care for it properly. Thank God, I have now gone almost 20 years without another flare up, but the lesson is simple. You have to listen to your body when it tells you to slow down. Just like you have to listen when it tells you to get up and run into your future.
Now I eat and drink only good things. Eating right, practicing yoga and exercising daily and abstaining from intoxitants, my body is refreshed each day and I feel younger at 50 than I did at 40, 30 or even 20.
Your body is not an obstacle to your growth—it’s a partner in it.
Movement, rest, and self-care are not indulgences. They’re how you sustain the energy required to live fully and intentionally as your true self. When you drain your mind and your body, you get further away from your true self.
Listen to your body. It’s always sending you signals for what you need.
What You Consume Shapes Who You Become
“Your input determines your outlook. Your outlook determines your output, and
your output determines your future.” ~Zig Ziglar
Think about what input you are receiving. Input, means just as it says, “put in.”
We just discussed what you put into your body. But, what are you putting into your brain?
What are you consuming on your phone, TV and computer? What are you watching and listening to?
Is it quality content that inspires you to achieve your goals or are you just observing and interacting with the lives of others?
They now call all that information you consume on platforms, your “feed.” The output you get from an algorithm is your feed. Feed is what we give livestock. Feed is what we give horses and pigs. You are a human and do not need “feed.” You need healthy food, love and true connection with others. You need healthy content that helps you be your true self and inspires you to greatness.
What are you feeding yourself and your brain?
Are you creating your future by being on your phone or just reacting to others, reacting to what you see on your feed?
You are the master of your day, not the servant to endless videos, communications and messages of others. If you want to live more fully, create your own inputs.
Living as your true self means being mindful of what you’re feeding your mind—books, conversations, media, and even self-talk. If you continuously consume distraction and negativity, you shouldn’t be surprised when clarity feels out of reach.
Choose content that excite you to greatness. Content that reminds you of who you are meant to be. Content that reflects who you want to become, not just what’s trending.
Living as Your True Self Is a Daily Practice
There is no finish line.
Some days you will feel deeply aligned. Other days you’ll notice yourself drifting back into old patterns. That doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong. It means you are aware. It means you are on track and observing your progress.
Awareness is the path back to your true self.
Living as your true self is not about perfection. It’s about honesty. It’s about noticing when something feels off and having the courage to realign.
As your feet hit the floor tomorrow morning, simply say to yourself, “It’s gonna be an Amazing Day!” Walk into the bathroom, step in front of that mirror, lock eyes with yourself and say, “I love you.”
Then go spread that light out into the world.
The world needs your light to shine brightly now more than
ever.
The world needs you at your best and we need you now.
As you awake with intention, with your goals set and your habits aligned with your true self, put down the phone, turn off the negative news and just listen to your still small voice inside. Listen to your true self and your higher power and then write down what you hear.
Don’t wait!!
Turn what you wrote down into action you can take today to live the life of your dreams.
To live your life of love, happiness and bliss.
To live as your True Self.
