“The perfect ending to any day, race, task or project is to FINISH STRONG” — Gary Ryan Blair
As I write this, it’s May, and the weather is beautiful. There are five more weeks of school and my seven-year-old, Gideon, has lost his drive in school. His teacher emailed a couple of days ago saying that he was not doing his writing assignment, while the other students were working diligently. Gid is super smart and loves doing math and spelling tests, but the stuff he doesn’t like such as writing and art, he just sits there unengaged or acts up. I get it. It’s nice out and all he wants to do is be outside playing soccer, not cooped up in a classroom.
In the email from the teacher about his lack of interest, she reminded us that there is plenty of work left to do this school year. When I went to pick up Gideon and his siblings at school yesterday, he asked to stay at aftercare so he could play soccer with his friend for two hours. After taking my other kids out for ice cream and then home, I headed back to school to get Gid. It was his turn for some Daddy time and ice cream. I read the email from the teacher on the way to Sprinklz, the ice cream shop.
When I read the email from the teacher, he immediately protested as most kids do, saying “that’s not true, I worked so hard on that writing assignment.” So how do I get through to a seven-year-old soccer fanatic? I had an idea! I asked him if his soccer hero Lionel Messi, would slow down and stop running and fizzle out as the game winds down? No, he would play harder than he had the entire game and give it everything he’s got. He would run faster, think more strategically, and give every ounce of energy from the bottom of his soul to finish strong and win. That got through to Gideon, and he closed out the year getting near perfect grades and even enjoyed creating a spooky story for his creative writing assignment.
Do you have days that you just fizzle out? You stare blankly at the phone and TV before bed. You scroll mindlessly through social media or shop too much online. None of these things are helping you end strong each day and put you in a great state for the next day, for your next big game. You want to win the day and be able to go into the next day victorious, your next round in the tournament of life. I am not suggesting over exertion, or more work. You want to do those things that set you up for serenity and success.
Hopefully you have read my past articles and are in the habit of starting each day by saying “I love you” in the mirror, seeing that love in yourself and sharing it with others. Putting that love into your family, your friends, your colleagues, your work, and into everything you see and do. This propels you forward to become your true self and live the amazing life you are meant to live. We all can be a force for good in the world, but that requires ending the day with the same positivity that you started the day with when your feet first hit the floor, and you exclaimed, “it’s going to be an amazing day,”
Close the day strong
Close your day with intention, the same way you start with intention. No screens or phones for the first and last hours of the day. Prepare your mind for restful sleep well before you get in to bed. Take a couple of minutes right before bed to do a very quick journal of your wins for the day, how you want to show up tomorrow, and your BIG 3 rocks or priorities for the next day. By journaling before bed, we are allowing or brains to work on our priorities while we sleep. As Thomas Edison said,
“Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious.”
When you focus on your BIG 3 priorities each night before bed, you give your brain the chance to work on it overnight. Even if you do not recall any mental activity about your BIG 3 when you wake up, you are creating a great habit that allows you to start your next morning clear on what needs be done. That way, as soon as your feet hit the floor, you know which way to go.
Here’s a way to seal in your positivity for the night and let your subconscious work while you sleep on creating the loving brilliant person you are and what you will create the next day. Simply fall asleep with your hand on heart saying, “I love you.” Simply, Pledge Allegiance to yourself.
A couple of years ago, I was in a Mastermind group with about 150 entrepreneurs from around the world. A brilliant author and writing coach from the U.K, Dr. Nicole Janz, mentioned the practice of putting your hand on your heart and saying, “I love you.” Dr. Janz is amazing. She was a Cambridge University professor but became weary of academia, the publishing demands and experiencing burnout, so she listened to that still small voice inside. She took a chance, quit her seemingly great world class job that was killing her physically and emotionally and started her own business as a writing coach. She went on to release a powerful writing planner called the Write Habit to help authors overcome procrastination and fear of the blank page. Dr. Janz is a smart lady, so I took her advice and tried the practice.
It works!! I fall asleep feeling amazing by placing my hands on my heart and saying, “I love you.” Say it as many times as you can. That way, as you doze off, your heart and mind are filled with love and positivity. As you focus on love, your mind is filled with positive thoughts and your emotion is blissful and calm. Thoughts of stress or fear rarely pop in because you have placed yourself in your natural state of love and bliss. If negative thoughts do pop in, they are short lived as you recenter and continue to say “I love you” with your hand on your heart. What you find is that positive images of yourself and love for others comes into your mind.
Now compare this to falling asleep scrolling TikTok, watching the negative news or TV shows filled with murder, fear, yelling and high drama. Yes, they are exciting to watch and the exhaustion from the negative emotion puts us to sleep eventually, but unfortunately that is what your brain is processing as you fall asleep and while you dream.
Motivational speaker Prince EA asks in one of his inspirational videos, “if you had a million-dollar thoroughbred racehorse would you give it cigarettes, alcohol and junk food and let it stay up late watching TV?”
No, of course not, so why do we do this to ourselves, to our brains and our bodies? You are worth more than anything in the world. Feed your body and your brain only the healthiest food and content.
You are worth far more than a racehorse who lives in a stall. You are a human being who can do more than just run fast. You can create amazing things, and this world needs you to leave it better than when you first got here. As you fall asleep, don’t feed yourself fear and anciety, feed your heart and your mind love. Put your hand on heart and say I love you. Say it as many times as possible before you fall into blissful settled sleep. You are not just saying this to yourself, you are saying this to the universe, to your family, to all of those you encountered today.
It might feel a little awkward at first, but there is nothing more natural than placing your hand on your heart and saying “I love you.” You don’t feel awkward when you stand in a room with dozens or even thousands of people with your hand on your heart pledging your allegiance to a piece of cloth known as a flag. Now that may sound awkward, but it has become natural because it reiterates the positive emotions we have about being “indivisible” or united together under a common purpose with those we make that pledge with. It is natural and automatic because you have done it repeatedly since you were a kid. You can begin an even more impactful daily pledge to yourself.
Placing your hand on the beating source of life for your body and sending it and yourself love is divine. Is it more natural to fall asleep with your hand on the remote or your phone? That takes us away from our natural state. That disconnects you rather than connects you to yourself and your intention for success.
Close the day strong by eliminating screens, journalling your wins for the day and setting your intention for the day to come and pledging allegiance to yourself. Doing this will help you cross the bridge from overwhelmed to balanced and focused.
Visit benparvey.com to download our Habitually Inspired HabiTracker, get inspired and learn more ways to Reignite your Spark.
